In keeping with tradition, jokes chosen by Gold TV poll more likely to elicit groans of despair than laughter
Jokes about Phil Schofield, Liz Truss, and the cost of living crisis are among the best contemporary Christmas cracker jokes selected by the British public in an annual poll.
The vote asked members of the public to vote on a shortlist of 10 modern jokes considered as being worthy of inclusion in a cracker. In keeping with festive tradition, the jokes are more likely to elicit deep groans of despair at their attempted wordplay rather than a sincere cackle.
Why does Kate Bush need to turn the heating off? She’s running up that bill
How did King Charles III sign his Christmas cards to his family? The Artist Formerly Known as Prince
What’s the difference between Liz Truss and a shepherd? One U-turns and the other turns ewes
Why are Will Smith and Chris Rock not having turkey this Christmas? Because they’ve got beef
Why has Santa been banned from sooty chimneys? Carbon footprints
What crisps do Phil and Holly serve at their Christmas party? Skips
Why are the government having problems with their own version of the Christmas Nativity? They can’t find three wise men
What do people heating their homes and wrapping paper have in common this Christmas? Both of them are getting ripped off
How can you keep your home warm this Christmas? Tinsulation